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Why the hell does it seem like I’m in high school again?

Let me clarify, high school sucked. SO much. A lot of things were going happening with my family and I was too naive to understand. I’d like to believe I’ve awakened and changed a lot since then, but it really doesn’t feel like it.

In high school I was the ping pong guy. I had nothing going for me… grades were abysmal, I was still addicted to a stupid MMORPG, I was… although this hurts to say I was pretty much obese.

So 2009… a year and a half after graduating… where am I?

Well I lost 70 pounds, that damn game is still on my computer but I don’t play it ever.

I picked up a new hobby, photography…. everyone likes pictures right? For once I was doing something that people enjoyed, I was so proud, so proud, and I still am :D. But, it seems like I’ve put myself in an all to familiar situation. I’m camera guy.

Classes are pretty bad, my GPA is so low…. so low. How do you study for MIS? Why am I being tested on made up stuff? This is WORSE than any high school class I’ve ever taken.

I made so many efforts to go out and meet new people. “Patrick you’re so popular!” Does saying “hi” to a lot of people make me popular? I don’t think so. At this school all I can do is say “sup” but after that nothing happens. I still find myself struggling to find people to eat with.

“Whats your major” “Tests coming up?” “Sounds tough man”

I’m fucking tired of people pitying me and fake talking to me. And I hate myself even more for continuing this trend.

You know what hurts? When I find something that I find truly awesome or enjoyable, and when I make an effort to share that with people they don’t give a flying fuck.

Since you guys are my friends. I want to show you guys some nice places to eat. I want to chill, watch movies, play video games, forget about the crappy academic life. If only more of you would give me a chance.

This is the “too long read later” version of when you come up to me and ask me “Hows life Patrick?” and I give an unconvincing reply of “It’s okay…”

How can you help?

Well you can simply talk to me on aim or text me “Hey patrick I’m hungry, lets go eat!” or “I feel like going to Walmart for some odd reason.”

I’ll probably be playing street fighter or watching youtube so I’d be delighted. I have a car, I’ll be glad to take you.


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